An open letter to the conservative men of America

Conservative man Steve Stockman
Steve Stockman

Dear Conservative Man,

As I write this, you are probably gearing up for your 4th of July celebration. Perhaps you have reverently hung the Chinese-made American flag you whip out for holidays. You might be lovingly staring at that Stars and Stripes shirt you bought at Walmart (made in Taiwan), or maybe you’ve dug out the silver-plated bald eagle belt buckle to polish, which was machine tooled in Malaysia. You are showing your patriotism… for China, Malaysia and Taiwan.

Do you have fireworks? I bet you headed over the state line to pick up the “fun” stuff, didn’t you? Who cares that your neighbor is an Iraq war vet with PTSD who reacts very badly to loud noises. He’s an unemployed slacker, living off the “teat,” as you and your conservative buddies so eloquently put it.

By God, if you hadn’t had those bunions during the Vietnam war, you’d have been in country, killing gooks with the best of them. Hell, you even had a “Bomb Hanoi” lapel button.

And war. You love war. You’ve never actually served, but you love the idea of blowing up countries with different religious beliefs, or too much government. It didn’t matter that Saddam Hussein had absolutely nothing to do with the attacks of 9/11; those damn towel-heads deserve everything we gave ’em.

It didn’t matter that no one ever found weapons of mass destruction (other than the biological weapons the U.S. and Great Britain sold Saddam that he used on his own people), George W. Bush was the greatest president America ever had because he kept us safe.

The Conservative Man

You’re excited about what’s happening in North Carolina, Ohio and Texas! Men who look exactly like you forbidding uppity women from killing their babies. Yes, it’s fun to oppress people, especially women who have the gall to stand up for themselves, when they should just shut up, know their role and go make you a sandwich. Steve Stockman is your hero because he gets it. You give unborn babies guns and no more abortions! Praise Conservative Jesus, pass a coat hanger.

My guess is, you’re pretty upset about the whole DOMA thing. And why shouldn’t you be? In the minutes after the Supreme Court ruled DOMA was unconstitutional, millions of straight marriages collapsed faster than a 50-year old bridge.

Wait, that didn’t happen. Well, it will, because Pat RobertsonRick SantorumBryan Fischer and Michele Bachmann say it will, and you follow them like a lemming, right over the cliff. You remember with great fondness a time when gay bashing wasn’t just legal, it was encouraged. Uganda‘s got it right, dammit.

What’s the deal with all this religious freedom attacking your religious freedom? America is a Christian nation; we have God on our money and in the Pledge of Allegiance and our motto is “In God We Trust.” See? No Muslim terrorist, liberal atheist or left-wing witches are gonna change the fact that God loves America. At least he used to until we let all the fags get married and women wear pants.

In closing, Conservative Man, let me just say this. If you read this letter and think “Hell yes, this is exactly what I believe and who I am,” you’re what’s wrong with America.

Happy 4th of July!

68 COMMENTS

  1. That dumb ass in the full body flag obviously has no idea that it’s as UN-AMERICAN to wear her flag as clothing as it is to burn it. Read the congressional articles of Flag Etiquette and get an education.

  2. This article is just as foolish as the idiotic trash posted by the right wing. The right portrays ALL liberals as gay, pot smoking, welfare receiving, baby killers. People with even an average IQ know that is a complete lie, just as the descriptions in the above “letter”.

    Just more divisive rhetoric. Americans are far more alike than either party would like their subjects to believe. Most Americans truly don’t care what others are doing so long as it doesn’t impact their own lives.

    Freedom, personal responsibility and helping our fellow man where what this country was founded upon.

    There are kooks on both side of the isle. This letter is the perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black.

  3. Lovely essay, and it rings true to ANYONE paying ANY attention at all to what’s been going on in this country for the last 30+ years. Conservatives are, by and large, MOSTLY ignorant, cowardly, reptilian imbeciles… imho.
    But you put it so much more elegantly than I, I’d venture to say…
    Bravo to you! Bravissimo!!!

  4. Straw man arguments do nothing to persuade people coming from the center. Get down to brass tacks and stick to the facts, unless you want to exclude a lot of folks who might otherwise support your cause. (Do you have a cause?)

  5. I am a progressive. I read a lot of Jefferson, about banks and banking!!Jeffersons Sec.of Treasury, Albert Gallatin said “banks encourage war”.General Holdridge said Banks foment wars to keep us running in their debt. Lennon says “and no religion too” Free Brad Manning . Lee

  6. Happy 4th of July conservative Americans, with a big BANG! Here’s to the next looming war, wave your little made in China flags wildly. For me my allegiance is not to the nation of America, but to the planet & a sustainable, justice abiding future for all!

  7. Hi Erin. I really enjoyed your Letter. I am an independent and have never affiliated myself with any party. Although, I was tempted to join one to help promote a candidate I wanted to run for President … I refrained. It was against what I believe in. I vote on the merit of the person and what they are running on. I do have liberal friends, and found out how many of my friends were die hard TeaPartiers. I understand sarcasm, and I loved your piece. To the naysayers, it is true that our freedoms are under attack but not by who you want it to be… it is the Republicans. I have watched as they deliberately waste time on railing against the President’s ideas and not focused on what we the people need. NOT ONE JOBS BILL!!! Not a single one. I am appalled that people think that vitriol and threats are now the norm. No one has a reasonable debate anymore. We have a two party system so that we may strike a balance. This Congress has forgotten that, forgotten what the Founding Fathers have really said. Since when did we become so infantile and violent? Please, can’t we all stop and find a way to talk? I hope you and your family are safe and have a Happy Fourth of July.

    • jrnee85– I agree with both you and Erin. I also feel our two party system is a failure. It is as if we should be relegated to just two choices. I disagree for the reason you state for our two party system. It happened because those with money and power have squashed other attempts, but more precisely because they/we fund just two. Americans are too simply to regard more than two choices, we become befuddled.
      I feel that the failure of our Congress (more exactly- the Republicans have proposed zero, nada, zilch) to provide any creative or meaningful jobs bills, not to properly address funding, i.g. the sequestration, student loans, and importantly to me, infrastructure.
      Thanks for your time.

  8. Not only is this article brilliantly written, touching on all the points that make my blood boil on a daily basis, but the comments I’ve read here so far are probably the most well written, well thought out comments I’ve ever run across on the internet. No cynical, wise-ass one-liners, but genuine passion and mostly importantly – the overall claim that we need to stop sitting back, that we need to start acting. Now! Their view women in particular is an abomination against humanity. And again, not ALL republicans (but let’s not kid ourselves – MOST). These treasonous politicians that get elected, the one’s who are for some reason more liked, respected and therefore more DANGEROUS (like Louie Gohmert, Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Steve Stockman, Chuck Grassley, etc) have spent 100% of their time, energy and resources legislating and proposing bills that ravage the poor, the dwindling middle class, women, the LGBT community, people of other religious faiths, the atheist community, science, education, the environment, the economy and children have lied compulsively, perverted our democracy and obstructed progress through any means necessary…and yet they’re still there. They are NEVER questioned and they are never held accountable. I’m tired of mainstream media hosts sitting back and complaining amongst themselves, interviewing people they agree with (and they ALL do it, from FOX to MSN). What happened to debates? Why haven’t they held these people’s feet to the fire and make them explain WHY they’re pushing these destructive things through congress and ultimately on our society? I’ve done what most of you have done – I’ve signed petitions, I’ve written to House members and senators but you know what? They don’t listen, because they don’t HAVE to. They don’t read our letters and emails. They have people who do that for them. Telling people to get involved by writing to their representatives is like telling people to write about their concerns in their diary. Obviously it is not working! People did the right thing by protesting in support of Wendy Davis’ filibuster but you know how those maniacs in office fix THAT problem? They try to push it through AGAIN, on ANOTHER day, but THIS time they do not let those protesters inside. These people are sneaky, resourceful and have no problem silencing the voices of their constituents. We progressives have had a hand in this by allowing it to go on for so long that it is now deemed “normal”. Personally, I don’t have any grand idea to effectively change it. But surely there are more clever people in this area who could come up with SOMETHING.

  9. I came here from a facebook link. Never been here before, likely not coming back. Your idea of conservatives is laughable. It’s blindingly obvious you don’t know many, or let others tell you how we think and act.

  10. I don’t know who you are, never heard of you but from your comment it is easy to assume you are a LIBERAL and entitled to your rants and raves but as a conservative individual, 77 years of age, first generation American, & may I say very proud to have been born in this country. I would not fly a flag that is made anywhere else except America. There are many people in this country that still have a strong belief that this is the greatest country in the world and still get tears of pride when the American flag passes in a parade. Sorry to go on like this .My only reason of writing is to tell you that I take GREAT OFFENSE to your post. I am a conservative and know people both liberal and conservative and feel I can safely say neither party alone created the mess we are in now. Maybe instead of demeaning comments you can try making helpful suggestions for the betterment of America.

    • Ms. Conover,

      I try to make helpful suggestions, but usually I am called (and these are the most recent names): stupid, a “libtard,” a Godless Commie, a fascist, a Nazi, a moron, retarded and a dyke. All by conservatives. Also, all the death threats I have received since I began writing for the public have been from conservatives. Of course I am liberal. Second generation liberal, third generation Democrat. So, if I told you that Governor Kasich just signed a budget that forbids medical professionals from giving information on abortion to rape victims, would you agree with his decision? Do you agree with Liz Trotta that women who enlist in the military should expect to be raped? Do you think the LGBT community is evil? Do you agree that single mothers cause gun violence? See, that’s the conservative party. If you want to change your image, you might want to get better spokespeople rather than attacking me for writing a sarcastic, but pretty on target article.

    • Nice that you fly American-made flags. Where did you find them? Just out of curiosity, at Christmas I tried to buy only made-in-America decorations. No luck at all. The only thing I found was at a garage sale, about 40 years old. I suspect our 4th-of July decorations and flags have gone the same route.

      • I agree..but try Made in America.com or other sites. You can get things made here- just hard & mors expensive..good luck:)

      • We bought our flag at Walmart , an American company, and the flag was made in the U.S.A. I’m a conservative , but I don’t hate liberals , I find people with just a little class don’t spew generalized hate.My husband is a conservative , a Republican , a Vietnam Veteran, he was a medic..you are probably to young to understand what that means . He has PTSD ,but we’ve been married 40 yrs and we do okay handling it since he came home .He’s a man , he knows his mind , he doesn’t prance around with signs and neither do I , but we sure wish women in Texas didn’t need to go past 20 weeks , or even that far to abort, we wish they would be more responsible about birth control like we were , or take care of it right away. Now very young girls are another thing, some one has mistreated them , they deserve to be helped at any time . We just think grown women should act responsibly like grown women , and at least get it handled by 20 weeks, beyond that …”late term” ,is monstrous to us, and unless it’s the life of the mother in question, we don’t want it in Texas. There will be no loss of clinics, some one is lying to you. You also have a complete misconception about all white men conservatives . The ones we know have served their country , are not joe six-packs or bible thumpers and do not think women should be barefoot and pregnant.

        • Wow. A post-20 week abortion is “monstrous” to you, so you want to make sure no one can have one. That’s the conservatism that people rally against. If you oppose abortion, that’s great– by all means, don’t have one! But it is not your place to tell another woman she shouldn’t, and you can’t cherry-pick with “Well, if it’s a young girl or the mom’s life is at stake…” You are either pro-choice or not. And you indeed are not.

          I know a woman who had to abort at 22 weeks. She was married, financially stable, and this was a child that would be loved and wanted. The ultrasound showed the baby had anencephaly– aka no brain. It was dying and there was NO hope for any recovery or life at birth, if it even made it to birth. The doctor said the best thing would be to terminate ASAP instead of dragging it out. Because our state does not allow abortion past 20 weeks, she had to go to another state over 200 miles away. The procedure was a two-day process. She had to recover in a hotel room and not the comfort of her own home. She was also treated to people holding dead fetus posters at the clinic– people who had NO idea why she was there and immediately judged her as someone who was just casually aborting (not that anyone does so casually, despite what some conservatives think).

          I dare you to look this woman in the eye and tell her she was in the wrong, that she wasn’t responsible, and deserved to be treated like she was a criminal.

          Not ALL abortions are because the woman wasn’t on birth control or was careless. Funny how you’re blaming the woman, by the way– not like she got pregnant by herself.

    • What exactly offends you? Since this is a generalization and you know darn well that most goods are not produced here, what exactly is offensive?

  11. You don’t have any conservative friends, Erin. Pity you’d let politics get between you and half the country.

    • Actually, I do have a few Republican friends. No, I do not have any conservative friends, because I have discovered that for the most part, all conservatives want to do is threaten to kill me and my son (6 viable death threats to date) and tell me my husband should have married a “real woman” (earlier this morning). As I wrote in response to Ms. Conover: Mr. Czervik, if you want your party to join the majority of America again in solving our problems rather than trying to overturn Roe v Wade, turn this country into a theocracy and stigmatize rape victims and the LGBT community, you need better spokespeople.

      • I hope it comes as no surprise that when you paint people with offensive stereotypes that they do not become your friends. It’s a shame about the death threats as it’s the next step beyond “name calling” for those who have no argument. Liberals do it too – like in Texas where they wrote wishing that the daughter of the senator who stopped the Davis filibuster will be raped. If I even had a “party” it is neither R nor D. Ergo, we have both Bush and Obama spying on us. Obama not closing Bush’s Gitmo and both parties using the IRS as weapon. And we have people like you… Who don’t reach out and instead fan the flames of hate as other haters cheer you on. Do you know who needs better spokespeople? People in the middle. Those who have both conservative and liberal friends. Those who understand both even though they don’t always agree.

        Go ahead, keep pretending you’re not being offensive and then become indignant when you receive a death threat – just like Rush Limbaugh.

  12. I don’t agree with this. It’s easy to label the ‘other side’ as this, and it makes our case look better. It is not. There are many conservatives who have valid points and are sensible. The problem is the minority of Conservatives are the ones with the loudest voice, and thus they act like what you wrote. We are on the right side, but what you say is not.

    • I’ve been watching the conservative party since the Reagan administration. When the GOP began courting evangelicals, everything changed. I have never met a conservative, including ones in my own family, who had a valid point. What I’ve heard is Obama is a Muslim, women deserve it if they get raped or beaten, the LGBT community is evil, Christians are being persecuted, America should embrace Biblical law, African Americans are lazy and all the problems in this country are the fault of the poor. What used to be the fringe is now a powerful political party started under Ronald Reagan, nurtured under George W. Bush and freed by the first African American president. This open letter is true, and the reason I know this is because every single thing I address is something I have heard from many conservative men. Including the bunions.

      • That is EXACTLY correct. It couldn’t have been put in a nutshell better than that. And further, there is no mediation with these guys – only self-righteous, pedantic jargon designed to inflame those who don’t know better. A true American conservative with an agenda should sit down with a true American liberal and come to a common ground on which we may all stand (remember the “American Way?”. Shoving their agenda down the throats of the American people is a criminal act and should be subject to prosecution by the masses who elected them. It’s basically Egypt, but the agenda being shoved down the people’s throat isn’t Islamist, it’s some sort of weird, Neo-Christian Fogeyism. You can’t really call it Christian values with the amount of fire-spewing contempt and hatred being used to justify it.

      • This did all- economically, socially, etc- start with Reagan. We are approaching 3rd world status because of these policies. What I find really interesting is the number of former Reagan workers who are now talking about all the problems, and tracing them back to his regime.Too bad it took them so long..

      • The battle between conservatives and liberals has heated up more over the few years, than I ever thought possible. Perhaps it is the media, or politicians who incite hateful emotions, I could not say. I know that for years, since the 60’s 70’s, those who of us found our voices, might be considered speechless now, at what has happened in our Country. I am 64, and many of my age group, those I know personally, and claim to be proud to be Republicans, are shameless in their constant verbal attacks on our President, on “muslims”, “welfare queens”, gays, women, etc. The assaults won’t let up…I guess I thought all of us in a certain age group would always be liberal, more open minded, more optimistic, and hopeful..that there would always be improvement in our world..no children or adult, would ever go hungry…our education system would always be the best…our medical professions would always be available, and affordable..women would be treated as equal and respected…adults would be free to make their own decisions about their life choices. It is discouraging to read racist chain emails, almost all based on lies that won’t stop. The conservative media, so filled with distortions..and yet has a large following of people who enjoy the hate, the bias, the bigotry. These same people who claim to be “Christians”…yet in a heartbeat they would bring back the Gas Chambers…the lynchings..the destruction to anyone dare be different from them. I do believe it is the extreme conservatives who have caused so many problems to our Country..those who love Don Imus, Rush, Ann Coulter, Drudge, so name a few. So much hatred, is the problem of our world, in my opinion.

    • “There are many conservatives who have valid points and are sensible.”

      Many? I doubt that. But….let’s see some of your examples then we can talk.

  13. So, What are we going to do about it ? It is all well and good to right up blogs saying what is wrong with everything, but, when are we going to follow through on the message of them? I am ready…

    • The people who did not vote in 2010 and helped this happen need to throw their apathy away, step up and vote next year. We need representatives who represent US not corporations or the Koch brothers or the NRA. We need local, state and federal reps willing to overturn Citizens United and keep Roe v Wade and continue the movement for nationwide marriage equality and who understand the importance of the Voting Rights Act. We need better Supreme Court judges and better governors. And that’s up to us. If we sit back and say “Nothing’s gonna change, why should I even bother,” we’ll be dealing with obstruction, lies and bigotry for a very long time.

      • How about we use the billions of dollars in profit the Department of Education is getting and actually educate these ignorant people? Compare the education performance of the states where the idiotic legislation is coming from. Keeping their masses in ignorance is the insidious tool of the ultra-conservative. Actual familiarity with the issues would breed contempt, which is their greatest fear.

        • That would be a great idea, if the majority of conservatives believed in facts. Remember-these are the people who think David Barton is an historian and Glenn Beck University is an accredited institution for higher education. I’m sure there are some members of the former GOP who aren’t like “this,” like John Huntsman, but unfortunately, those people are few and far between. The GOP is not the Grand Old Party anymore, it’s now the fringe.

    • The biggest fight for “freedom” is occurring in American soil….so we fight them till hell freezes over and then fight them on the ice..

  14. The generalization that Conservative men are all just ignorant red necks is dangerous. There are plenty of ignorant women who believe this crap. And on the religious and homosexual front, there are plenty of blacks and hispanics that are “mostly” liberal except when it comes to other religions and homosexuality. And finally there is the Ayn Rand intellectual – who somehow despite years of education has gotten stuck in the Social Darwanist “gimme mines and screw you” logic of the Libertarian ethos despite over whelming common sense logic that their way would work about as well as Russian Communism.

    • Jackie-I agree wholeheartedly. Next week, I am planning a Letter to the Conservative Woman. I’ve addressed this before, how completely bizarre it is for women to vote for a party that promotes such horrific treatment of women.

    • My experience has been that most right-wing women do as their men do, putting the S in Stepford. It has nothing to do with intelligence, but with a belief–usually religiously-based–that women should always back their men.

      • Patricia – I note the same thing – even AFTER they have divorced those husbands for philandering! Divorce is ok for them, because their husband disobeyed the church/bible; but not ok for other women for myriads of other reasons. Sad are those that are not honest with themselves about their bad marriages and stay. Are they truly so religiously indoctrinated that they continue to believe as they were taught to do? Looks that way to me! I cringe when these women back the republican candidates. They don’t appear to believe that separation of church and state is the basis of our country’s founding. I fear FOR them most of all. They believe they are protected by men and the church and right-wing policies that keep them “in their place”. They will be the ones on the losing end of EVERYTHING as this country goes to the dogs and not have a way to be able to redeem themselves.

  15. Ah yes, but see they will argue that it’s the liberals that’s what’s wrong with America until they’re blue in the face. I know because sadly several of these conservative sheep happen to be my relatives- Hazards of being from Texas originally, you know. To be honest about the situation at hand, I’ve protested, I’ve taught, I’ve posted and called and have written letters to all my representatives at one point or another. Nothing. Changed. The problem isn’t just the idiots out there that believe in this crap, it’s also the people that propagate it all over the place. It’s the system that allows corporations to be people, to support campaigns in ways that the average person would never be able to accomplish in a lifetime, It’s the very religion that these conservatives cling to that was never meant to be used in this manner (if you take the purest context of what it was supposed to be and not the organized mess it is now). It’s a history of repression based on gender, skin color and life choices that encourages the same to continue into the modern era. So when there is so much wrong with the country you love and the country you live in, what is left to do after trying all the “normal” approaches to helping change?

      • I’ve been saying we are headed into another civil war for the last 5-6 years – I don’t know how much more it will take – but its coming, just take a look back at world history. Hoping and praying US citizens will WAKE UP and act as the citizens of Iceland did. Divide and conquer has been the tool used to keep us at each others throat. Take a step or two back – get to know your neighbor, then his/her neighbor, and get involved in your community. This country was founded on the ability to speak freely, to agree to disagree, to come to agreement through discourse. We can’t do that if we keep on listening to the main-stream media that is bought and controlled by only a few. We can’t listen and come agreement if we don’t know what our own neighbor believes…and if we close our mouths and ears and hearts.

  16. if i’m not mistaken, the fellow in the american flag attire is the legendary flag-waving ziggy from waterbury, ct. he loves this country.

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