A letter to the conservative women of America

sarah palin wrapped in flagDear Conservative Woman,

Two weeks ago, I wrote a letter to your male counterpart. Perhaps you read it and shook your head, angry at this upstart liberal trollop who dared insult the patriot you love. My letter to you will be less of a rant and more… well, sadly curious.

The theme of this missive is empathy, which you seem to lack entirely. Now, I don’t think just because we both have a vagina, we should necessarily agree on everything but again, you say and believe things that are the antithesis of an empathetic human being. Especially when it comes to other women. You have no  remorse or understanding of the damage you do, and this strange disconnect saddens and confuses many people.

For example, after the murder of Kassandra Perkins, Dana Perino said women in violent relationships should “make better decisions” and you agreed. I know this because I read comment after comment, stating that women who were victims of domestic violence were “weak” and “could leave” whenever they wanted to, as if it was a woman’s choice to remain in that terrifying situation.

Do you know what it’s like to be in a violent relationship, poor, trapped and alone? To have no money, no options, nowhere to go but back each and every day to a man who uses violence and rage to control you? I do.  Leslie Morgan Steiner does.

Why do you blame rape victims for their own assaults? Phyllis Schlafly wrote an oped in January of this year regarding the rampant sexual violence in the military that included this startling statement:

“Military women are already complaining about increased sexual assaults, and of course those problems will skyrocket. Only men will be deemed at fault because it is feminist ideology that men are innately batterers and women are victims.”

Liz Trotta, a Fox contributor, made similar comments about the increase in sexual assault, adding:

“And the sexual abuse report says that there has been, since 2006, a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults. Now, what did they expect? These people are in close contact, the whole airing of this issue has never been done by Congress, it’s strictly been a question of pressure from the feminist.”

Which is what you think about rape. It’s blown way out of proportion, most rape allegations are false, the woman “deserved” it because of the way she was dressed, she’d been drinking, she said yes then changed her mind. You defended the rapists in Ohio and shamed the teenage girl they raped.

Yes, we have women on the left side of the political aisle who have said some fairly horrible things about rape (Whoopi Goldberg always comes to mind), but in recent years it’s you, Conservative Woman who spends your time victim shaming and blaming.

Conservative Women
Conservative Women

Oh, and your “pro-life” claim. Explain this to me, please. You believe life begins at conception and abortion should be outlawed, but when a poor woman gives birth, you don’t want your tax dollars helping her feed, clothe or care for that baby.

No low-cost or free lunches, no WIC, no SNAP, no CHIP, nothing. Maybe you agree with Texas Republican Jodie Laubenberg when she said in 2007 that those fetuses you call people don’t deserve help because “they’re not born yet.” Which of course isn’t “pro-life,” but neither is supporting the death penalty.

Pregnancy from rape is a gift from God according to Sharon Barnes and Richard Mourdock and former presidential candidate Rick Santorum. I was raped (wearing a tee shirt and surfer shorts, BUT I had been drinking so I must have deserved it). What if I had gotten pregnant?

I hear over and over again that women, if they don’t want to keep the fetus can find an adoption agency. Um, no. And here’s why. Adoption forms have an entire section just for information about the father. If you’re raped in a parking lot by a stranger, what exactly are you supposed to write; he was taller than me and left 5 perfect fingerprint bruises on my neck? Oh and he was white/black/Hispanic/sort of tall/maybe shorter than tall/blue/green/brown/hazel/black eyes and maybe a beard/mustache/sideburns/clean shaven/he was wearing shoes. Tell me how that works.

Conservative Woman, you make me sad. Earlier last year I said if a woman voted Republican, she must hate herself. I still believe that. Look what your party is doing. Your presidential nominee, Mitt Romney blamed single parent households for gun violence. Seriously.

Ann Coulter thinks liberal women shouldn’t vote, which is a change from her previous belief that women in general shouldn’t vote. Allen West’s former campaign manager Joyce Kaufman stood in the parking lot of a mini mall and shouted “If ballots don’t work, bullets will.” Men are “designed” to be the breadwinner.

I will never be a Conservative Woman, because I don’t see the same world you do. In my world, feminists are just women who want to be treated as more than chattel or brood mares. In my world, the poor need help, Walmart does not.

In my world, the middle class are the job creators, not Mitt Romney. And in my world, survivors of domestic and sexual violence are heroes to be looked up to, not pariahs to be looked down on. So, please tell me how as a woman you can be a conservative, because I truly do not understand.

Sarah Palin cartoon

52 COMMENTS

  1. Trisha, why do you call yourself “very conservative”, when you do not believe what most conservatives believe?

    That is like saying you identify with the Hells Angels, b/c you love motorcycles, but you disagree with how violent & lawless most of the club are. The Hells Angels are known for their blatant disregard for laws, rules, and authority, along with extreme violence (rape/murder) & involvement in drug trafficking…..so identifying with their group or name, when their activities & beliefs go against everything you personally believe…..makes absolutely NO sense!

    OK…..that is an extreme example…..and I am being overly dramatic here…..but my point is……

    ….Identifying with being conservative, when you don’t personally believe what THEY believe and what they do…..is just about as crazy.

    You said it yourself…..you have NO issue with people receiving government assistance…..yet MOST conservatives DO have a very BIG issue with that! Ask anyone who calls themself a conservative or a Republican, how they feel about these issues. You may be very shocked to find out just how prejudiced & judgmental they are. And no….I am not exaggerating or making this up. Many of my own family/extended family are very right-wing conservative, Christian fundamentalists. They are VERY opposed to anything progressives or liberals believe. They all call themselves ‘conservative’….some even openly identify with The Tea Party…..and they all vote Republican. I have had numerous discussions with many of them, and I’m VERY familiar with what they believe.

    You indicated by broad reference….that you do not blame or shame rape victims, or hold judgmental attitudes toward women who choose abortion…or use contraceptives…or who are strong, independent women…..or toward people that have alternative lifestyles…..at least that’s what you would have us believe, by saying that you don’t believe any of the “nonsense” in this letter…..and yet….MOST conservatives absolutely DO believe this way…..they DO look down their noses at women (or others) who don’t conduct themselves in the way they think they should…… Most conservatives really DO think that their bible, and their beliefs should dictate how EVERYONE ought to live & act. That is part of the conservative mind-set.

    Most conservative Republicans are FOR eliminating or de-funding all help programs (TANF, WIC, SNAP, CHIP, Welfare or public assistance of any kind.) The want to eliminate Planned Parenthood, they want to restrict or deny access to birth control. They are totally against abortions….no matter what the reason. They are also against Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, Obamacare, subsidized or low-cost healthcare….SSI-D disability income, unemployment insurance, section-8 and/or subsidized housing, also Head Start programs, school lunch programs…..you name it…..anything that tax-payer money might fund….if it’s a program that gives anything to the poor, the homeless, the low-income, the disabled, the elderly…..they want to cut it off….eliminate it. They think people who ‘take’ are a drain on the rest of us….

    If you don’t think that way…..then WHY in the world would you go around calling yourself ‘conservative’? That is most definitely what most conservative Republicans are for. Why would you vote for politicians whose political goals are to accomplish what I’ve outlined above…..if that goes against what YOU believe? The letter above is most definitely addressed to anyone who calls themselves ‘conservative’, but disagrees with most of what they believe….it’s just as crazy as my Hells Angels scenario…..

  2. Thank you! One more very important fact: rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the willful and powerful taking of control over the body of another. It’s devastating…

  3. Excellent letter. Sadly, you most likely lost your target group in the second paragraph with the word “vagina.” Remember, we’re not supposed to think about those “nasty things” in terms other than, “the place where the baby comes out after church approved copulations.”

  4. I am a teacher in one of the worst and most poverty stricken areas of Fort Worth, TX. Please ask all conservative women to donate one day to teach these students about why they cannot afford to have a regular doctor, good plain food on their table, more than one clean school uniform, a new backpack when the one they were given two years ago breaks.

  5. I cannot help to think about the hypocrisy behind, “Look at what your party is doing to this country”. Excuse me Ma’m, Do you know who is running our country right now and why there is no control on spending? You are preposterous..

  6. Really wonderful article! I wish we could universally change the word SURVIVOR as it pertains to anything to VICTOR.

  7. “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the American flag and carrying a cross” Sinclair Lewis, 1935

  8. All these conservative women need to have a daughter in the military, a son who is gay, and a sister in a physically abusive relationship. They sure as hell won’t be conservative after that…

    I met a pair of elderly ladies a couple of weeks ago in an assisted living. It was around the time of the DOMA ruling. The one of them said some nasty comment about how gays need to be kicked out or shot, and this other lady surprised me. She patted her friend on the leg and said that she used to feel the same way but then she found out her grandson is gay and now she realizes how wrong her belief was and that everyone needs to be able to marry who they love. I almost cried; it was so moving.

    • My Grandma was always vehement, passionately vehement, about two political topics – she was very pro-choice and pro-gay rights. She’d seen too many classmates die from botched abortions, and she’d had a good gay male friend as a young woman (whom everyone assumed she was dating, but they both knew better).
      Personal experience teaches much.

  9. This is just silly. I’m very conservative, and I don’t believe any of the nonsense that this letter swears up and down that I believe in. I’m in the social work field for crying out loud, of course I have no issue with people receiving governmental assistance. I help them get it for a living.

    I try very hard not to paint all liberal women with the same broad brush, but very rarely am I given the same respect in return. Usually I hear things like this letter, that imply I have no heart based on whatever political spectrum I fall on is just ridiculous.

    • So when you hear and read statements from conservative women, blaming and shaming rape victims and victims of domestic violence and demonizing women who exercise their right to choose, you stand up and say “That’s not right,” or defend the women being shamed? You write letters to your local paper, speaking out against the hate and lack of empathy shown by female conservative leaders and pundits? You don’t vote for people like Virginia Foxx or Steve King or Rick Perry or Jodie Laubenberg or Michele Bachmann, rather casting your vote for men and women who understand SNAP and WIC and CHIP and programs like them aren’t a drain on society, and to blame for many of our problems? Because if you cast your vote for people who think the way Liz Trotta, Ann Coulter, Jodie Laubenberg, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum and the rest think, you can push back as much as you want, but you are in fact the woman to whom this is written. If you don’t agree with the majority of your party, why is it your party?

      • Ms Nanasi,

        I thank you for your intelligence, your wit, your perspective and your ability to prioritize very, very well. Your righteous indignation, which at times mirrors mine is an essential asset in getting people sitting on the fence to jump off and take a stance, hopefully the stance that makes sense. I will confess that at times I have a rather short fuse, supposing that I can beat sense into people who don’t have any, which is pointless, but makes me feel better.

        My personal crusade is that of sexual assault in the military, which has gone on, well, since there has been a military. I am as you might guess a Veteran of the Armed Forces of the United States, having served, oh, about 40 some years ago. I knew of the problems then, though I never personally witnessed such an assault with my own eyes. Had I, I would be writing this, if at all, from my cell in Leavenworth Military Disciplinary Barracks, following what would have been my trial for some type of homicide, depending on the Government’s handling of such things at the time.

        A lot things of things have happened since the war of forty years ago. One huge change has been the increase in the number of females serving in billets (Job openings) previously held only by male personnel. That women are much more visible serving is obvious. One side effect that I don’t believe anyone counted on was that the crimes of sexual assault would be made more obvious because simply of exposure. This, and the outrage finally being brought into the light has led people who have always respected women as equals (I became an R.N. after separation from Service) is starting to make a difference.

        Please understand that this is a “problem” that needs no exaggeration to make it one of the most egregious crimes extant today, in terms of trauma inflicted in the crimes themselves. It also goes to pure numbers of crimes reported, let alone the many, many crimes that will often go unreported. Understand that the offender is generally in the victim’s chain of command, almost always outranking her, thus rendering the victim essentially psychologically helpless, or not believed is she does in fact force an investigation.

        Last year, somewhere between 26-27,000 sexual assaults were reported in all the branches of the Armed Forces. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that the figures would skyrocket if all women felt protected, and safe, in reporting the crimes. Something MUST be done! I myself am disabled, and, and have started an advocacy page on Facebook for Veterans, Dependents, Active Military, and Civilians to gather and exchange whatever they might have to say regarding the Military. A non-political, safe place for the exchange of ideas. I beg that you join us at http://www.facebook.com/vetsyoucansalute. None of this will go away by itself, and it is only one of a myriad of problems that the military needs help in fixing. For example, are you aware that in some states 10% of those applying for food stamps are military families? Or that the Census, which by the way, my wife worked on, came to the conclusion that approximately 169,000 Veterans of our Armed Forces sleep on the Street? Every night? These are travesties. Don’t give me the hackneyed and cliched “Thank you for your Service” without being able to tell me that which you’ve done to improve the lot of those who suffer from PTSD. Start doing something. Call and/or write your Senators and Congressmen Or at least E-mail them. Get really bold someday and go out and talk to some vets. We’re everywhere. Why, you know, I’m right here, for that matter. Right now!

        • I enjoyed what you wrote. I think that is important to note that men are also being raped in the military and are even less likely to report it. Makes me ask the question of how long this has gone on without attention.

    • It’s seems that if you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas. You’re conservative it’s a broad label. It includes a ton of nut-job ideologies. You can either ignore it and decide that they don’t mean you or come up with a new label for yourself.

    • I’m sorry you’re feeling the paint of a broad brush stroke. Unfortunately the leaders of the conservative political parties in this country are making intelligent conservatives hard to hear in the conversation. I’m sure we could sit down and talk and get along fine, debate our points of view and probably understand the subtleties and never use be insulting. Unfortunately the loud, obnoxious, and often ignorant make such constructive moves near on impossible especially at the state and national levels. For the record I am considered a liberal.

  10. This was an extremely well thought out heart tugging posting. Just goes to show that women can be as blind , hurtful, ignorant and unfeeling as any man. The thing that shocks me is how the women taking the republican side can take a position that is wrongl..if not down right insulting to women who have been assaulted. This shows that a republican woman can be as wrong and empty of any sort of feelings for something as evil and sadistic as rape. Besides , of these women rape has happened to do we realy need to kick them when they are suffering that indignity. Shame on you republican women that take this with no protest…remember ..it can happen to you as well..then where do you go for a shoulder to lean on…just think about it…but im pretty sure they don’t care.

    • I think it is ridiculous to say that conservative women believe women who are in an abusive relationship, or women who are raped, are at fault. That is a stereotype every bit as bad as saying if your a liberal you live on welfare. She even named liberals who said the same thing, but when it comes to the conservative who said it, well, it must just the way conservatives believe. It is a bunch of B.S. I do not think I know a single conservative who feels that way.

      She later goes on to say that she knows people feel it is murder to kill babies in the womb, but then brings out another insult that they do not want them cared for. So murdering babies is fine as long as you do it for economic reasons? What is wrong with this lady? She tries to use words like empathy, but does not know the meaning of the word as she insults people’s values. If murdering those who can not care for themselves is an option, then why don’t we kill all the children born in poverty? Actually, why stop there? If we kill the welfare mothers, we won’t have children born into poverty anyway. I do not believe this is the answer, but following her logic it would be fine.

      I personally feel killing murderers is wrong too (I think there are better ways to handle this). I believe by Nanasi’s comments that we agree on this issue. She uses the issue to show how conservatives are inconsistent in their ideologies. Yet she is for killing babies, and against killing people who kill other people. Wow, can you say hypocrite? Unfortunately it takes empathy to see the hypocrisy.

      I know it may not seem like it, but I am extremely liberal in my beliefs, but I do believe my rights end where another’s begins, and this includes babies. I will not say abortion should be banned for cases where the mother’s life is in danger. I personally would not care for it, but I also know I am not in that situation, and it is a choice that I do not envy those who have to make it. Abortion is one of the few issues where I feel the conservatives are right, but I will say stereo typing, such as our esteemed author is so proud of, is definitely wrong! When it comes to babies born in poverty, we should do everything possible to care for those children, not kill them. If someone else is not willing to care for the child of another, then lets stop talking about what they are not doing and do it ourselves. Let’s stop pointing fingers and work for the good of others.

      I know I am quite hard on Nanasi here, but she was quite hard on those she was stereo typing. I feel Nanasi is likely a good person, but she does not try to see things through other peoples viewpoints, which is part of what is required to use empathy, an not just using the word. I hope someday she can break free of her preset stereotypes and overcome some of the ideologies she is enslaved to. While saying this, I also know we all face the same battles, myself included, and that is just a product of being human.

      • Address the quotes in the article then. Dana Perino is a conservative. Liz Trotta is a conservative. Ann Coulter is a conservative. Phyllis Schlafly is a conservative. I’ve written this next sentence before, but if you want people to see your party differently, change the message and the messenger.

        I refer to one person on the left who made ONE comment about rape, Whoopi Goldberg. If you can find other people on the left who have said that rape is like the weather, women rape easy, pregnancy from rape is a gift from God and of course, find a liberal who tried to redefine rape (forcible from you know, “regular” rape), post the links to the quotes.

        Murdering “babies?” Where did I write anything about infanticide? If you mean abortion, abortion isn’t murder. And yes, conservative men and women believe that “pro-life” is about the unborn, not actual children. I was told this a few days ago by a “conservative, Christian married father of 6.” His exact words were “Pro-life has nothing to do with SNAP and WIC, which has a lot of fraud. I am talking about the unborn.”

        So to sum up: abortion isn’t murder, the majority of conservative women with whom I interact do in fact fit into the representations in my piece, conservative women have blamed me for my own rape and beatings and (again, sigh) if the conservative party wants to appear less fringe than they do, elect saner representatives and get saner pundits and constituents out in media.

        • The other thing is, you may want to save the lives of unborn babies, but you don’t have the right to do so using another, unwilling, human being’s body and internal organs.
          I believe it’s wrong to kill a child by refusing to donate a pint of blood – but I’m not in favor of government-mandated blood donations every eight weeks for everyone who qualifies.
          Your body and your personal intimate organs belong to you, and it is your inalienable right to decide when, how, and by whom they may be used.
          If conservatives freak out (and some do) about being asked to give money to save the lives of poor children, how is it acceptable to demand that another person give the most intimate parts of her most intimate body?

        • Erin, I see your point that you have dealt with some closed minded conservatives. It is sad that you have met with people who blamed you for the trials you have gone through. Those people were 100% in the wrong. That being said, you are painting with a rather large brush that I feel does not cover anywhere near the majority. Are there stupid people elected to the conservative parties? Absolutely. Are there stupid people who are elected to the liberal parties? Absolutely. We tend to see the stupidity in the other party more than our own, but if we truly step back an observe in a non-biased way (very hard to do, and not even totally possible) one will see both sides are about equally stupid.

          As for it being murder, I was not saying you felt it was murder. I do not suppose you to be so callous that would intentionally murder children. But, keep in mind that societies have often defined murder differently. In our society the unborn are only considered to be murdered if they are wanted by the mother (in cases of trauma causing miscarriage). In some societies it has been considered murder only if the child has learned how to talk (they were not human before then) giving a couple of years after birth to consider abortion. Some societies have said it was not murder as long as they were not of the same ethnicity. Hitler’s Germany felt Jews and others were not human, so it was not murder. Even here in the U.S. we had the belief at one time (and unfortunately some still feel this way) that killing people with different skin pigment was not murder. Some societies have said you were no longer human after you can no longer provide for the greater good, making it okay to kill “invalids” (a terrible word), elderly, sickly, and the impoverished. The thing is, societies tend to arbitrarily assign the terms for “human” and “murder” to fit their goals, which tend to be geared against those who cannot defend them selves.

          It is easy to justify why we feel the way we do, but keep in mind, others have reasons they feel the way they do as well. When someone feels it is murder, can you give them a valid reason for it not being so that any of those other societies could not do so with their logic?

          I wish you well.

          • And even with that very polite and well thought out comment, you have not addressed the quotes and links in the piece. And no conservative woman who has commented has explained WHY most (and it is most) conservative women are like what I describe in the letter. Numerous conservative, female pundits and politicians-women YOU watch on television, listen to on the radio and vote into office over and over again-have demeaned rape victors (new word replacing survivors in my universe), called women who have escaped violent relationships weak for not leaving sooner, belittled women who work AND women who cannot and are “pro-life” only when it comes to zygotes and fetuses.

            This is not a question of being stupid. It is a question of a political party whose own leaders say and believe and promote dangerous and harmful rhetoric which the conservative, female pundits and politicians you support, view and vote into office try time and time again to force on the entire country.

            Stupid is usually not a choice. Ignorance, hate, bigotry and misogyny are.

          • Sorry, I thought I had replied, but I guess I was not direct enough with what I was trying to say. Here is my answer about those people; I do not pretend to know the reasons behind their answers, nor do I agree with them. I feel some were poorly worded or quoted, such as “Pregnancy from rape is a gift from God.” I think these people feel that all babies are gifts from God no matter how they came to be. I do not think they are saying rape is a legitimate way for babies to be born. I could be wrong though, and if this is the case, they are 100% wrong. I personally feel most politicians are dangerous, no matter what side they claim to be on. I do highly doubt that most conservative women blame the woman for violence. I have met a few ignorant conservatives who felt that way, but I have met far more who didn’t: and if you notice, many of the politicians who say such things fail to get reelected once it becomes public and this is generally because they lose popularity. So I do not believe your belief in what conservatives believe is as wide spread as you think (thankfully).

            Sorry it did not give me the option to reply to your post for some reason, so I replied higher up. Thanks for the interesting conversation. I hope this answers the questions you asked of me.

          • I addressing your last response on this matter. If you know more middle of the road conservatives then you know far right conservatives, who is voting in these extreme conservatives? Because I am not. Before I start, I consider myself an Independent voter.

            I also think that Erin should have noted that rape does not stop with political affiliation, nor do abortions. I have a friendship with a woman that worked in the now famous Tiller clinic and she saw on more than one occasion the protester suddenly on the other side of the fence asking for the same procedure they had once worked hard to shame women for.

            I believe that the overall message in this piece is the lack of shame from women that hold themselves in a higher plane when they themselves use and are victims in these same areas of life. Yes, I agree with her that this is a very important dynamic within the conservative circles I have been in. In reality there is no divide.

            If you think that getting pregnant and having a baby in a poor world is on par with every other insured average american you should live in the life of a women who can’t afford prenatal, can’t afford the hospital bill. In case you don’t know, women without insurance are expected to pay their OBGYN their bill in advance. Or at least that is how my gyn. handled it.

            Have a child you can’t afford does not lead to sunshine and roses because you see a glowing face. Some women can’t bare the thought of giving a child up to another family just to appease the correctness of what may conservative women see should be the next step. Now lets force this whole thing on a woman who has surveyed rape. Trust me when I assert, that a woman of means is not subjected to the same scrutiny as a women of need walking into an abortion clinic. What is never discussed, is you do not need to go to an abortion clinic to get an abortion from a doctor.

            There is also the component of mental health from the stress of having to survive in a country that has turned on you for asking for resources you need. I have to agree with Erin that over all there is a message being sent to the poor in they country by the conservative Republican that you are unwanted and you are not worth helping. If you are a woman, it is your fault and not worth helping. Most of all you are not smart enough to know your own situation. There for you should live with the consequence, even if you had no choice in it. In of making it about high school politics, you should try to change the message of the Republican party from within and mean it.

  11. Thank you for asking the question that has had me puzzled for quite awhile now and for putting it together in a sane, rational concise manner, something Coulter is incapable of. And the sad thing is if you try to have a conversation with them, you can’t because they refuse to listen to another side. I hope in time this will change as these old white men, as I think of them, are gone. If we can begin to move things in a way that shows benefits for their daughters it will change. That line from the movies says it, ” If you build it they will come”

  12. At least you don’t paint all conservative women with the same broad brush. You seem to have a very open mind about people that don’t view the world as you do. You didn’t assume she held the same opinion as other conservative women. That would be too narrow minded. Bravo on not damning a certain population as a whole. I applaud you for not lobbing false claims at her.

  13. Brilliant! My hats off to you for such am eloquent call to responsibility and compassion from a poisonous group of women who have no idea of the damage done to the minds hearts and souls of the survivors, by violence towards their own gender, and yet sit and pontificate on victim blaming solutions that only serve to push these problems further under the carpet by shaming the victims instead of holding the perpetrators responsible. While it may sound cruel, and is certainly not something I would want to see happen, I would love to hear one of them give their opinion to her own daughter after she was sexually assaulted or beaten by a vile, misogynistic narcissist!

  14. Cynthia! Bravo! I agree totally! What are we to do? We can’t make them widows (can we) ?? Or force them to divorce! God help us!

  15. Why do “conservative” women vote as they do. Firstly, you need to keep in mind that many “conservative” women only vote that way because they are married to conservative men. Studies have shown that widowed and divorced women vote more liberally than their married counterparts. So, in a nutshell, it’s a demonstration of a very typical behavior-doing what you can to make yourself “more attractive” to your chosen mate. Secondly, when it comes to political positions, I agree with Jonathan Haidt. He had a great TED talk called “The Moral Basis of Conservative and Liberal Thinking” and you need to see it. Conservatives are hierarchical and believe that maintaining the social order is more important than the needs of the individual members of that social order, especially if the members in question are at the bottom of the social order. So, you’ll see conservative women dogging other women who “step out of place” Women who vote against conservative candidates are voting against maintaining the social order and must be suppressed. Women who want to be in the military are disrupting the social order and rape is a corrective measure. There is no reason to suppress rape in the military if you have a conservative mindset-it serves a function. Women who “can’t afford kids” need to stop having sex, not be allowed access to abortion and/or food stamps. That’s why the concept of religion and hell with eternal punishment is so appealing to a conservative. When was the last time a proselytizing evangelical started their spiel talking about how Jesus’s philosophy is so cool? They go right to the “hell” concept when they speak

    • I disagree that many Republican women vote the way they do because their husbands are Republican (the implication being that women are not thinking for themselves or are afraid of disagreeing with their husbands). You are ascribing a cause (married to a Republican) to a no-too-surprising event (Republicans tend to marry Republicans).

      I do agree that most Republicans have a strong hierarchical view of the world and have no problem with a small group of people being in charge and telling everyone else how things are going to be.

      • I disagree with you, valleycat1. I believe that she is very right. It begins in a conservative upbringing that tells you that the man is the ruler of the household, then your typical conservative young woman gets married straight out of high school and cannot understand others wanting to go off to college. What is the point of an education when all she has been raised to do is be a good wife and mother? At some point her husband will say, “Honey, lets go down to the polling place and vote. Now be sure and vote for the man I tell you too.” Don’t believe me? Go ask one. Likely she will tell you she makes up her own mind but in reality her husband is the one that dictates what shows she watches, what church she goes to, and what she teaches her children. On the other hand go talk to a woman who went to college right out of high school and not to find a man but to get an education. She will have been exposed to liberal ideas and liberal thinking and will become used to making her own decisions. She will likely marry later, say in her mid twenties or early thirties, she will have children, they will be well adjusted. She and her husband will likely vote separately, in fact she might be the one to suggest they go vote. They might agree on politics, they might not. They may have lively political discussions even involving the children so they will be politically aware adults some day. In case you are wondering the latter description is me and my family. Conservative women tend to not even know what is going on in the political field and MUST rely on their husbands to tell them who to vote for. Disgusting isn’t it.

        • Valerie,

          I was talking to friend who lives in the South the other day, and she told me about a friend of hers. The woman is married to a Tea Party “muckity muck,” and in public she is the epitome of the perfect Republican wife. However, in the voting booth, things change. This perfect Republican wife takes the person for whom her husband is voting and votes for the opponent. Every single time. So, while you might be correct in some, perhaps even most cases, there are some women married to conservative men who don’t always do what they’re expected to do.

    • Wow!! I am a man. Just want to throw that out now since many believe I am a woman when I voice my views. No no I am not gay either (lol) although there is absolutely nothing wrong if I was. I have a very intelligently attractive and alluring wife and everyday I see how conservative women struggle to suppress women. Mary Wollstonecraft fought so hard to pioneer a road to equality and freedom for women and here we are in 2013 enduring the appalling behavior of the Anne Coultiers, Michell Malkins, Schaflys et al who using the benefits of centuries old battles in renegation of those very struggles which granted them the faculties which grants credentials to their platforms. Miss Savage I wish to meet and work with women like you. I am sick of everyone overlooking the fact that sexism is more dire than racism in THE WORLD. If you respect your mothers, sisters, wives and colleagues then there is possibility that the well fed institutions of bigotry amongst the so-called elitist will quickly dissolve into disgust and disdain opening the doors of opportunity for greater potential not just among our women but also our sons who will replace these PIGS!

      • Dana,

        The first time I watched it, I sobbed. Every single thing Leslie Steiner said struck a chord in my heart. I emailed her and she was kind enough to respond. How any woman, especially a conservative woman who typically self-identifies as Christian can look at another woman who has been beaten or raped and say that’s their fault is completely beyond my comprehension.

    • I believe in GOD but I do not believe in the bible or religion. wearing a cross tells me one thing about Sarah. She, like all the other ignoramus sheep, bask in the symbol of insult and humiliation of a man whom they uphold as the embodiment of compassion, humility and charity yet the flag which she has shamelessly desecrated (the flag which I defended for 20 years) by using it as a rag over her traitorous body stands for the opposite of what Jesus preached although it was not always that way…

      Jesus promoted a trinity, he promoted anti-servants/ anti-slavery and even defended a prostitute against those men who thought she was dirty and they were clean. While I do not believe Jesus was promoting prostitution, I ask, was he condemning it by his actions. If the chronicles of Jesus life (The basis for Christianity and the sheep that follow it to the slaughter) are to be told and followed and it is the basis for our way of life then why is the GOP considered the party of Christians?? I am confused!! Jesus served and had disciples and friends; GOP believes in a nuclear form of power and control…

      Food for thought.

    • Wow Ms. Savage, that was so eloquently put! Spot on, and I thank you for the TED talk recommendation. I would add though that it wasn’t always this way with the GOP, at one time the party was more fiscally conservative and there was some amount of compassion, but that time has long passed. Now the party is pretty much fear-mongering control freaks, steered by sound bytes from talking heads on networks run with a mindset of the WWE. Idiocracy is the end game now if these folks get their way.

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