Bryan Goldberg's new website for females is actually condescending towards women

internetting for womenOnce upon a time, according to many published reports, men invented the Internet. Because Internetting is just too darn difficult if you’re a woman, manly men with manly ideas had to step up and create this monstrosity that runs our lives. OH BUT WAIT. If manly men invented the Internet, who in the world is Radia Perlman?

Radia Perlman (and I’ll be honest here, I’m copying this from Wikipedia because while I can Internet with the best of them, I’m not fluent in engineer speak) is a software designer and engineer. I know! A girl engineer, someone tell Mattel! Ms. Perlman is the inventor of the Spanning Tree Protocol, which is fundamental to the operation of network bridges. Her work “transformed the Ethernet protocol from using a few nodes over a limited distance into something able to create large networks.” This is kind of a big deal. In fact, if you Google “spanning tree protocols,” you find hundreds of entries about how STPs work, what they do and really everything about them.

I bring Ms. Perlman up because a rather noxious little creature named Bryan Goldberg recently raised $6.5 million to start a (get ready for it) website for da ladies called “Bustle.” Mr. Goldberg is the founder of “Bleacher Report,” an online locker room for penis jokes and manly sports.

Bryan decided that we gals needed a place to read the news and get makeup advice. You know, because the real Internet is too manly for we dainty little flowers. Almost $7 million to give women our very own website. Since we don’t have others?

Truthfully, I thought “Jezebel” has this corner of the market… well… cornered. Obviously I’m wrong because Internetting is too hard for me and I misread something somewhere. Look, if some guy wants to start a website for women, whatever. It’s the REASON he claims to have started it that’s making many of us narrow our eyes and glare at the computer screen. Bryan Goldberg made a few statements about his new pet project which is when the narrowing of the eyes began. Here’s his explanation of why “Bustle” is so fabulous:

“We’re different, because we recognize how many diverse interests are shared amongst the next generation of women… Creating an amazing blend of content – one that puts news and politics right beside fashion tips is what will set us apart.”

Amongst? Do you understand Bryan that when I type that word, Google, MS Word and Word Press draw a red line underneath it? I don’t think that happens because it’s not a word, I think that happens because it’s so pretentious a word, no one should use it. I bet Radia Perlman never says “amongst.”

Fashion tips next to politics. Do you have a demographic, by any chance, because it sure ain’t me. I don’t need fashion tips next to my politics; I prefer my politics the way I prefer my coffee – strong, without any shiny accessories. Don’t drop a Tom Ford shoe into my politics, Bryan, just don’t.

bryan goldberg
Bryan Goldberg

Goldberg also wanted to make sure we all understood how “Bustle” would be run, pointing out his delegating skills. His job “as CEO is to hire the right people… Knowing the difference between mascara, concealer, and eye-liner is not my job.” Of course, once we silly Internetting women pointed out how deeply offensive this sentence was, he dialed it back and reminded us overly sensitive vagina owners that it was meant “tongue in cheek.”

Ignore that there should be no comma after “concealer” and “eyeliner” is one word. Just let that go.

This is nothing “different,” and by claiming “Bustle” will appeal to a “diverse” clientele while not-so-subtly implying other sites do not is disingenuous at the very least. He named it “Bustle” for God’s sake. ย As in that thing Scarlett O’Hara wore under her skirt to make it all poofy. If a man wants to start a website for women, fabulous, wonderful, thank you.

If a man wants to start a website for women that seems, at least from his press release, to be all kinds of condescending and purports to be “different” while in fact following the same model others have used for years, that’s not fabulous and wonderful. That’s just lazy.

20 COMMENTS

  1. I can’t get past the insult of naming the site “Bustle”! As in, the Victorian Era, when women were treated like property with no rights whatsoever. What a condescending ignoramus.

  2. I always wonder wht someone so passionate about a topic, such as the “correct” use of a comma, would then not understand correct usage.

    I recommend Lynne Truss’, ‘Eats Shoots & Leaves’, not only entertaining, but informative as well.

  3. Ya know. I might not have a college education. I may be a tad rough around the edges. I may even be a total ass sometimes. But if your only argument about the article is “OMFG you didn’t use a fucking rarely used, totally optional ‘oxford comma’…” then Fuck you. You’re a fucking moron and missed the entire point of the article. Now piss off.

      • Possibly. I hadn’t had more than 1 cup of coffee when I posted that. But I still believe that when people nit pick grammar/punctuation and bypass the gist and meaning of an article or post, they really are fucking morons and I have no trouble at all being disrespectful and nasty to them for it.

        I haven’t been in school for more than 20 years. I don’t need some grammar nazi fucktard nattering on about my spelling or grammar or punctuation and ignoring the meat and bones of what I posted. If they are so concerned about it, go teach it in a fucking school. Otherwise I still say. Piss off to them.

        And in case you are wondering Brian. I AM being polite. I do however refuse to be politically correct. I speak my mind the same way here, as I do in public. If people have a problem with it, It’s really their problem because I sure as hell ain’t gonna change for them. Too old, too cantankerous and too curmudgeonly.

        (just a note, no I am not angry, or upset etc.. this really IS how I talk normally).

        • my point is that nobody picked on Erin for using or missusing the Oxford comma ,. You miss read the article and therefore misunderstood the comment. and you obviously missed the part where Erin thought the comment was very funny and spewed coffee through her nose. peace, Brian

  4. I am so sick of this generation…young, stupid, offensive and without a clue of commas and what being a women or a man means. These issues were, or we thought were, left behind decades ago; yet your generation has seen fit because of your lack of historical interest or knowledge to raise them from their dusty graves. Women know their strength, power and knowledge base and never find the need to rise up and argue its truth and presence with some foolish ‘puppy’ who obviously has not done his research and has no respect nor affection for women. Men, ‘real men’ respect women and understand their essence which is not based in style, fashion nor appearance. While they may enjoy and take pleasure in that as do women in theirs, they know that the long lasting joy and attraction of the opposite sex is in their ability to learn, ease in laughter, myriads of interest, swiftness of care and compassion, tenderness of touch, loyalty of friendship, strength of values, and courage of conviction. The young should take a breath and concentrate on their own worth and not worry what some ignorant, disrespectful (not very good writer, I might add) has to say. He obviously has not done HIS OWN WORK on self and growth. Women, we are the core, the strength, the care giver, the hub around which the knowledge and first learning and respect grows. Teach your sons to respect, to know themselves, to love wisely and openly and without prejudice. Show them your strength and calmness, and wisdom. Show them you calm center around which they can learn themselves…The world can change if you do this!

  5. Thank you, fellow internet grammar nerds for defending the Oxford comma! That is *obviously* the most important issue here. But thanks, Erin, this was awesome. Every time I see that picture, I just want to punch Bryan Goldberg in his smug, douchey face!!

  6. I wanna know who gave him the money.

    Cuz men who say they know what women want and how to hire the right people to give it to them (… something that women can’t possibly do on their own cuz, you know, uterusses and stuff…) are pretty thick on the ground, but are there ever enough credulous fools with fat checkbooks?

  7. Goldberg doesn’t serve men any better than he does women. Of all of the major sports sites I’ve seen or contributed to, Bleacher Report is the least informed and the least informative – and by a wide margin. I have absolutely no faith that Bustle will be worth one nanosecond of anyone’s time – man or woman.

  8. I agree with almost everything you wrote here, however you have opened an even larger, more serious debate: ie, The correct/incorrect usage of the Oxford comma. ๐Ÿ™‚

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