A letter to the unthinking majority of the Tea party

Tea PartyDear Tea Baggers,

I like my share of extreme things. I listen to extreme music, I like extreme sports and I even eat extreme Doritos. When it comes to extreme political positions coupled with extreme stupidity however, I’m afraid I must draw the line. That’s where you come in.

You were unknowingly spawned by the Koch Brothers over a decade ago, but have quickly succumbed to their ideology with the help of Fox News who in your eyes can tell no lies. For some peculiar reason you only united under a common banner after the election of America’s first black president.

Obama was characterized in the conservative press as the epitome of what ignorant Americans fear most; A Black, Muslim, communist… and you fell for it all! You believed these lies with so little thought. A whole faction of your movement was born just from Obama’s birth certificate.

Your lunacy doesn’t stop with the birthers either. With people like Glenn Beck and Alex Jones in your corner, there’s no end to the conspiracy theories you subscribe to. You truly believe that 9/11 was an inside job, global warming is a hoax and the United Nation’s Agenda 21 will be the death of the country.

You believe the government is coming for your guns, even more ludicrous you think Homeland Security is buying up ammo to keep it out of the hands of individuals. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised given you’re the same people who believe Islamic law threatens the United States.

Speaking of religion, you preach the importance of personal freedom at every turn, but when someone tries to exercise some of these freedoms you try and take them away. Apparently in your mind the bible supersedes some of these rights whether the perpetrators are religious or not.

As a result most of you are fervently opposed to abortion rights, birth control and sexual education in true Michelle Bachman/Sarah Palin fashion. In addition, some of you are still opposed to gays and their right to marry, one of the more important rights we all have.

Your anti-gay, anti-abortion crusades aside, I can’t understand why some of you want to make it harder to vote. Of all the freedoms one should cherish in a democracy, I would think voting would be the highest on the list.

Tea Party CartoonOne of the beliefs the Koch Brothers managed to ingrain into those Fox News infused brains of yours is the libertarian theory of trickle-down, laissez-faire economics. I can’t imagine why billionaires would want to convince you that taxing the rich hinders the economy because money flows from top to bottom. I guess they have their reasons.

Well I got some shocking news; you’re less likely to get jobs by cutting taxes on the rich than finding a Republican at a March on Washington anniversary. The truth is most of the billionaire’s club should be on an extreme episode of hoarders.

By the way, this might be a good time to mention the original Tea Party a couple centuries ago believed in “No taxation without representation” not just “No taxation.”

I can honestly say that I’ve never been so dismayed with a political or social movement in my life. It was bad enough when you just stood there with tea bags on your hat and called the president names, but then some of you just had to run for office.

Now that your there, you’ve managed to block all types of legislation from job bills to environmental bills to just about anything that will benefit the country. You’ve marginalized the poor, woman and minorities and to top it off you’ve killed nearly every element of moderateness within the political party you represent.

I suppose if I had to admire anything about you tea baggers, it would be the passion you bring to your cause and movement, no matter how misguided it might be. The problem is all that passion has made you all deaf, blind and thoughtless to the realities of the country.

Don’t get me wrong; understand this letter is directed at the worst of you. I realize not all Tea Party members come from the same mold. Sometimes I even find myself even agreeing with some of you, but one of these days you’ll have to wake up and realize you’re being used by the same corporate interests you used to protest.

I can say I disagree with even moderate Republicans on a great many things, but at least the majority of what’s left of them can think for themselves. Turn off Fox News from time to time, ignore the bullshit coming from Alex Jones and Glenn Beck. By absorbing all this extreme rhetoric, you’re simply dumbing down yourself along with the nation and making a few people vastly rich. It’s time to think for yourself…


  1. “Sometimes I even find myself even agreeing with some of you, but one of these days you’ll have to wake up and realize you’re being used by the same corporate interests you used to protest.”

    Hey Mike, i have a question.

    What corporate interest do you mean?

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