Chris Christie will not be harmed politically from the bridge scandal. Republicans are typically forgiven for their misdeeds

Chris ChristieChris Christie found himself in a wee bit of trouble this week. It seems that members of his staff, angered by the lack of support from a Democratic mayor, decided to close a bridge. Christie called it a “traffic study,” but there was no traffic study. It was politically motivated, the closure may have led to the death of an elderly woman, and pundits are musing that this is the end of Chris Christie.

Those pundits might want to take a step back for a moment. This is a Republican we’re talking about, not a Democrat. Republicans are not held to the same standards as anyone else in any other political party. Chris Christie may be a bully, he may have known what was going on regarding the George Washington Bridge, and he may have known David Wildstein was going to plead the Fifth. None of that matters. Here, I’ll prove it.

During the first Anthony Weiner sexting scandal, Rachel Maddow presented what many believe is the greatest segment in cable news history. She stood in front of a large board which was covered with the heads of politicians involved in sex scandals. Some were Democrats, some were Republicans. And scandal by scandal, she laid out the fact that Republicans get away with more than Democrats. It turns out, you can cheat on your wife, toe tap in an airport bathroom and bribe your mistress, and it’s all okay if you’re a Republican.

For example, there’s David Vitter, a current Republican U.S. senator from Louisiana. Senator Vitter enjoyed the company of prostitutes, a lot of them, and during some of his “sessions,”  it is alleged he wore diapers. He apologized while his wife looked as though she was trying not faint, he said he prayed and his constituents reelected him.

Who can forget Newt Gingrich? Cheated on his first wife, divorced her while she was seriously ill to marry the mistress who became Mrs. Gingrich number two, cheated on HER when SHE was sick with current wife and allegedly received blow jobs in limos all the while trying to impeach Bill Clinton for playing hide the cigar and literally interpreting the meaning of the phrase “sexual relations.” Newt went on a Christian radio show and blamed his serial adultery on…patriotism. Newt ran for president and is still considered a leader in the Republican party.


Chris Christie, The wives of Newt Gingrich
The wives of Newt Gingrich

We have Mark Sanford, the former Republican governor of South Carolina, now Congressman Sanford (R-NC) who hiked the Appalachian Trail all the way to Argentina. No he didn’t, but that’s what he told his staff to say to the press. He instructed his people to lie to the media while he romanced his Argentinian mistress. Sanford’s staff allegedly had no clue where he really was, and believed he needed a passport to go hiking.

Chris Christie’s career isn’t over. If he were a Democrat, oh hell yes, he’d be toast. They’d have run him up a flagpole already, set his office on fire, and killed the family dog. But he’s not a Democrat. He’s safe. Think of it this way: If Watergate happened today, with Nixon in the White House, the GOP would give him a medal and try to elect him for a third term.

I predict that Chris Christie will run for president, but he will not be the nominee. Don’t get me wrong, he has a lot of qualities conservatives love. He’s a bully, he hates teachers, he doesn’t think rape victims or victims of domestic violence are very important and he prefers rich people over poor people. He’s a flaming Catholic who hates birth control and he’s rabidly pro-life. But, Chris Christie hugged President Obama and that is utterly horrible to conservatives. They prefer a candidate who screams out “YOU LIE” or brings Ted “Pants Pooper” Nugent to the State of the Union, or the guy who says the separation of church and state makes him want to puke.

The GOP’s presidential candidate will most likely be Rick Santorum, if Santorum runs again. Chris Christie is a lot of things, but he’s just not batshit insane enough to be a Republican presidential candidate. That doesn’t mean his career is over, though. If a guy who visits hookers and wears diapers can get reelected to the senate, and a man who not only has a mistress in South America but drags his own kids on stage during his victory speech to meet that mistress for the first time can be a congressman, Chris Christie can certainly weather a little bridge closure/revenge plot/dead woman scandal.

Don’t count Chris Christie out. You have to remember, It’s okay if you’re a republican. Lie, cheat, bully, bribe, whatever. The party of family values has your back. Wait…

chris christie cartoon


  1. It’s high time the People in America start holding our complicit, pro-Republican U.S. Media responsible for whitewashing the egregious behavior by Republicans in our Gov’t since they don’t and have never done it for any Democrat.

    And it’s way passed time that Americans stop believing in the “liberal media bias” myth so well propagated by all our U.S. media, and begin believing that our 4th Estate is dead and buried and has been since Ronald Reagan was elected president.

Leave a Comment