Senator Tom Cotton's first ever speech on the Senate floor puts us aboard the train to World War III
On Monday, Senator Tom Cotton delivered his first ever speech on the floor of the United States Senate. It took the freshman senator no more than 47 seconds to invoke the dual specters of Nazism and Adolf Hitler, through the use of a not-so-slyly disguised quote from Winston Churchill, when addressing the prospects of a new nuclear arrangement with the Iranian government:
“The world is growing ever more dangerous, and our defense spending is wholly inadequate to confront the danger. To be exact, during the last four or five years, the world has grown gravely darker. We have steadily disarmed, partly with a sincere desire to give a lead to other countries and partly due to the severe financial pressure of the time. But a change must now be made. We must not continue longer on a course in which we alone are growing weaker while every other nation is growing stronger.”
His argument followed the standard, propagandistic, conservative line, contending that the newest nuclear deal will not at all act to hinder the prospects of the government in Tehran obtaining sufficient materials and productive facilities for the creation of a usable weapon. Indeed, Cotton argued that the deal would, in fact, “pave the way” to an Iranian bomb and “thousands” of centrifuges able to facilitate the manufacture of fissile materials.
The reality of the issue is out of the hands of every single American lawmaker, barring an outright declaration of war. Strangely enough it seems as though this may be just what Tom Cotton desires: a cleansing bath in the sweltering heat of good ole’ hellfire USA.
Senator Cotton, fresh off of his much-lauded and “successful” letter addressed to the “leaders of the Islamic Republic of Iran,” has seemingly found the only remaining unused avenue for furthering the greatness that is his sprawling political empire. Surely no other member of the US Senate is capable of recognizing that, indeed, the Iranians do control Tehran.
Furthermore, Cotton, in his holy wisdom, is surely the only lawmaker able to comprehend the fact that when errant Senators decide to make a freshman statement, by attempting to subvert the process of international diplomacy, as well as the credibility of American deal-making through immature and absurd letters, it is only because of their unwavering and undying love for the very fibers of the United States Constitution that they step out of line.
It is time to stand up, America, and proclaim allegiance to our next great leader, Tom Cotton. He has proven himself, time and again, to be steadfast and resolute in the face of even the clearest evidence contrary to his aggressive, anachronistic approach to this thing that we call geo-political reality.
It is time to do away with those pesky liberals, like John Kerry, who, try though they may to bring global peace and stability through negotiation, have failed to recognize the value of molten lead. Let us rain fire down upon the infidels, that our glorious American paleo-conservative hogwash be allowed to persist unchallenged for all eternity! Hail Cotton!