If conservatives had their way, we would hear no sex, see no sex and have no sex

What boring sex lives conservatives must lead. The GOP unveiled their regressive party platform last week, just ahead of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. What a shock, they aim to declare pornography to be a “public health crisis.” So while the nation mourns the victims of shooting after shooting, rather than focus on gun control, Republicans are doubling down on sex control.

This amendment, which also labels pornography as a “public menace” won’t be formally approved until the Republican convention. When it’s adopted, it’s anyone’s guess as to what new laws will be suggested to eliminate the scourge that is internet porn.

Pornography has always been a thorn in the religious right, dating back to Playboy and of course Hustler Magazine. Internet pornography has also been targeted by Republicans throughout the years, but as the GOP goes further and further to the right, so too does its anti-porn rhetoric.

Republicans and religious conservatives have tried to dominate all aspects of our sex lives for decades. From what we listen too, to what we watch, to who we can fuck. The only thing they have no problem with is sex for the purpose of procreating, which also helps to explain their anti-abortion stance.

Back in the 1980s, Tipper Stickers didn’t go far enough for some artists, conservatives called for outright bans on groups like 2 Live Crew. A black hip-hop group with sexist and pornographic lyrics. While conservatives went easier on white entertainers like Andrew Dice Clay, the PMRC did its best to silence those who expressed themselves using sexually explicit lyrics.

Republicans trying to control what we watch in regards to sex is not the most intrusive, but it does garner the most attention. If conservatives had their way, men would still be limited to looking at pictures of women exposing their naked flesh… from their ankles to their knees.

As I briefly mentioned, conservatives have been trying to blind us from the porno menace since the days of Larry Flynt and it is not likely to change. Since then watching porn has become as American as apple pie, particularly since the dawn of the internet, but conservative influence remains very apparent, especially on television.

Growing up in Montreal, I was exposed as a young teenager to softcore porn on basic Quebec television, but I still know right from wrong and I treat women with respect. In the United States you show a dead body with bloody entrails, severed limbs and head, but god forbid they show a bare breast.

When it comes to two people actually shacking up, for brief periods or long term, Republicans still feel the need to put their foot in your door. Part of the amendment to the party platform opposes “policies that encourage cohabitation.” Even in the tough economic times of the 21 century, two people shouldn’t live together until marriage.

Let’s not forget those Republicans who feel the need to reintroduce sodomy bans, as witnessed in the state of Michigan earlier this year. Rather than repeal the anti-sodomy bans still on the books after the Supreme Court found them unconstitutional, some conservatives still wish to see oral and anal sex become punishable once again.

Surely any anti-sodomy law is introduced with gay men being the actual intended target, but I suspect a certain lot of conservatives would prefer to remove all sense of pleasure from sex if given the opportunity, especially from women.

Speaking of gay men and the rest of the LGBT community, it’s odd that no one wants to intrude into their bedrooms more than conservatives. The division between the gay community and conservatives is perhaps as old as time itself and deeply seeded in religion.

It is therefore no surprise to see Republicans, even in this day and age, support outlandish “gay conversion therapy” in which sexual orientation is changed through prayer. Despite having the first openly gay Republican on GOP Platform Committee, even shit like gay conversion therapy made it through.

And of course Republicans are all about turning back the clock on marriage equality. God forbid two people who love each other get married in the eyes of the government. Don’t they realize by allowing gays to get married they’ll probably be having less sex?

That’s a bad joke I know, but no less funny than Republican induced sex control. For a party so committed to getting government out of our lives, they sure want to keep us from having sex… By fucking us all.


  1. Right on the money, Mike.

    “Suppression of the natural sexuality in the child, particularly of its genital sexuality, makes the child apprehensive, shy, obedient, afraid of authority, good and adjusted in the authoritarian sense; it paralyzes the rebellious forces because any rebellion is laden with anxiety; it produces, by inhibiting sexual curiosity and sexual thinking in the child, a general inhibition of thinking and of critical faculties. In brief, the goal of sexual suppression is that of producing an individual who is adjusted to the authoritarian order and who will submit to it in spite of all misery and degradation. At first the child has to submit to the structure of the authoritarian miniature state, the family; this makes it capable of later subordination to the general authoritarian system. The formation of the authoritarian structure takes place through the anchoring of sexual inhibition and anxiety.”
    – Wilhelm Reich

  2. republican women pushed thru the porn platform amendment not realizing their spouses HAVE to look at porn in order to bang them. Could be a good thing; fewer republicans birthed to populate the nation.

  3. There was one key word in that article and that is “religion”…. It is the biggest obstacle to peace on earth and most influential thing in the lives of these people that have minds so encrusted with myths that facts mean virtually nothing to them. Cue the flat earth society here…..
    Remove religion and the picture becomes much clearer. So I guess we will not get past this kind of intrusion on our freedoms until believing in religion is considered odd instead of being the only accepted mental illness known to mankind.

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